Potty Humor

Last night we had a brand new parenting experience.  One would think that five years and two children in, we might have exhausted the opportunity for poop-based new experiences, but I assure you; No.

The family went for a chiropractic visit that was scheduled for the children's bedtime.  Not ideal, but necessary.  We arrived to a packed waiting room and many families there for family visits so the kid's area was filled with smalls.  And soon, filled with smells.  One of whom came to find us loudly announcing "Imaydapoop!"  Mr. and I looked at each other doing a non-verbal rock-paper-scissors, which he generously let me win.  At the same moment we realized the diaper bag was still on the counter at home.  (Insert fecal expletive.)

The Mr. went off with the odoriferous child to try to salvage the diaper currently in-use.  A LONG time passes and he arrives looking quite red in the face and barely holding back laughter  and/or tears.  I start to ask and he says "Not now.", still barely containing himself.    Little One loudly announces to the entire toy room "Imaydapoop and Daddy fush it day-own."  I sneak a look at my fuschia-faced husband.  He is shaking with silent laughter.  "He 'tuffed toyet paper in ma diaper."

So the back story goes something like this.  Mr., at 6'6", took the Little One to the closet size bathroom and opened the diaper to discover there was no redemption.    In the small space he managed to clean the child, but was left with a toddler who is not "housebroken" and one used diaper.  Using his best MacGyver skills he washed the (disposable) diaper.  It immediately became the size of  Macy's parade balloon.  Upon wringing it out, (many, many times), he reupholstered it with toilet paper and paper towels, strapped it back on and tried to reenter the waiting area with some discretion.  Not so for the toddler with a parade float on her rump.  Everyone heard about it.

You know that laughter you tried to contain in high school when you had in inside joke with a friend?  Throughout the visit I couldn't make eye contact with the Mr. without one of us bursting into red-faced hysteria.  I'm sure the staff thought we were self-medicating, but honestly, it was the best night of the week.  So for those of you who have said at the end of a long, stressful week, "I don't need anymore of this  (fecal expletive)!", you might be wrong.  Maybe it is exactly what you need.  An hour of giggling later, we all felt better. 

Well, except the swampy-pantsed Little One.  But she has a good story for her therapist someday.   Throw some change in the therapy jar!