The holiday season is fading into a distant memory and my family worked our little selves into a frenzy trying to do all of the things that we "should" in order to have a happy holiday, before we came to our collective senses. We needed to get some perspective. We needed that Seinfeldian mantra of "Serenity Now!" We needed to find some room to breathe and we needed to believe, truly believe, in "enough".
Enough #1: My favorite sugar cookie recipe is a health disaster. I briefly thought about skipping it, and then realized that somewhere in the primitive reptilian brain there is a code that reads "Santa+ Sugar cookies= Christmas". I had to do it. I briefly considered making them with alternative ingredients, but in the end went old school, unfurled my parchment paper and cut those babies out. The kids were excited about cutting them out, but really what made them spin in dervishes of Christmas ecstasy was the idea that there would be frosting. So, cutting to the chase, the cookies are cooled and ready to be decorated, and the frosting is whizzing around the mixer when I realize it is not getting "redder" because I am adding pink frosting gel, (which in its concentrated form is red by the way). Adding the correct gel only served to make the frosting the day-glo orangey red found in playdough factories. The Martha Stewart Living part of my brain wanted to pitch them out and start again. Perfection please! Instead I pitched a whiny fit, got it together again, and we went with a very contemporary color scheme that went with absolutely nothing, but if you closed your eyes and wore sunglasses simultaneously, tasted like Christmas. Enough craziness, Christmas is not a color.
Enough #2: Present shopping. We very intentionally scaled back this year, and yet as we wrapped the significantly smaller pile of goods, the same cerebral reptile chanted, "...But where's the rest of it?" It took significant tough love in alternating rounds to keep both parents on board with meaningful gifts and not teeming heaps of "stuff". We stayed small, (and truthfully could have gone smaller), and it was enough. In fact, Little One was finished after one, initial present and not everything was opened under the tree. Gifts this year were centered on things the girls are interested in right now, and things we can do together. And unlike other years, nothing is broken or lost as vacation comes to an end. Enough is a small thing. Enough is a quality thing. Enough is sustainable.
Enough #3: Enough is also a stopping point, a reflection point, and a starting point. New Year resolutions kill me slowly each year as I start out strong and slide into ambivalence as my goals were too lofty, far-flung, numerous, etc. I've had enough of setting myself up with "not good enough..have to be better..." pledges. This year, I am going to be gentle enough with myself that I could treat my friends in the same fashion. There is no one in the world to whom I would say the harsh and critical things that cycle through my brain day after day. And now, they are not welcome here either. Enough is enough. I have to practice, but I am enough for me.
And finally, Enough #4: Each day is enough in its own right. I don't know how yet, but I plan to live the day, not the week, month, season, or year. I have some thoughts, some feelings about what might be the right way for me, but for now, it is enough to know that today I felt today. I was here. It was enough to draw with my girls and clean the pantry, and find a missing slipper. I will get the thank you notes written, but maybe not today. I will get a walk in, but maybe not right this minute. My littles are only little for a short time. My last day of vacation will be up in a few short hours. This time is what I have, and it is enough.
And so, from day-glo frosting to being in the moment, I hope your holidays were joyful, your moments gentle, and your time was enough. Happy 2016 my friends. May it be all that you hope for and enough of what you need. Much love.
Enough #1: My favorite sugar cookie recipe is a health disaster. I briefly thought about skipping it, and then realized that somewhere in the primitive reptilian brain there is a code that reads "Santa+ Sugar cookies= Christmas". I had to do it. I briefly considered making them with alternative ingredients, but in the end went old school, unfurled my parchment paper and cut those babies out. The kids were excited about cutting them out, but really what made them spin in dervishes of Christmas ecstasy was the idea that there would be frosting. So, cutting to the chase, the cookies are cooled and ready to be decorated, and the frosting is whizzing around the mixer when I realize it is not getting "redder" because I am adding pink frosting gel, (which in its concentrated form is red by the way). Adding the correct gel only served to make the frosting the day-glo orangey red found in playdough factories. The Martha Stewart Living part of my brain wanted to pitch them out and start again. Perfection please! Instead I pitched a whiny fit, got it together again, and we went with a very contemporary color scheme that went with absolutely nothing, but if you closed your eyes and wore sunglasses simultaneously, tasted like Christmas. Enough craziness, Christmas is not a color.
Enough #2: Present shopping. We very intentionally scaled back this year, and yet as we wrapped the significantly smaller pile of goods, the same cerebral reptile chanted, "...But where's the rest of it?" It took significant tough love in alternating rounds to keep both parents on board with meaningful gifts and not teeming heaps of "stuff". We stayed small, (and truthfully could have gone smaller), and it was enough. In fact, Little One was finished after one, initial present and not everything was opened under the tree. Gifts this year were centered on things the girls are interested in right now, and things we can do together. And unlike other years, nothing is broken or lost as vacation comes to an end. Enough is a small thing. Enough is a quality thing. Enough is sustainable.
Enough #3: Enough is also a stopping point, a reflection point, and a starting point. New Year resolutions kill me slowly each year as I start out strong and slide into ambivalence as my goals were too lofty, far-flung, numerous, etc. I've had enough of setting myself up with "not good enough..have to be better..." pledges. This year, I am going to be gentle enough with myself that I could treat my friends in the same fashion. There is no one in the world to whom I would say the harsh and critical things that cycle through my brain day after day. And now, they are not welcome here either. Enough is enough. I have to practice, but I am enough for me.
And finally, Enough #4: Each day is enough in its own right. I don't know how yet, but I plan to live the day, not the week, month, season, or year. I have some thoughts, some feelings about what might be the right way for me, but for now, it is enough to know that today I felt today. I was here. It was enough to draw with my girls and clean the pantry, and find a missing slipper. I will get the thank you notes written, but maybe not today. I will get a walk in, but maybe not right this minute. My littles are only little for a short time. My last day of vacation will be up in a few short hours. This time is what I have, and it is enough.
And so, from day-glo frosting to being in the moment, I hope your holidays were joyful, your moments gentle, and your time was enough. Happy 2016 my friends. May it be all that you hope for and enough of what you need. Much love.
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